Articles
“An Epidemic of Loneliness”
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.”
Psalm 25:16
We are living through an epidemic of loneliness. The more technology connects us, the more that same technology, far from breeding intimacy, creates a gulf between us. While the reach of our communication has never been broader, the depth of our communication has never been shallower. Research consistently shows that one of the top issues facing young people today is loneliness. Exacerbated by social media, technological dependence and addiction, this epidemic is warping our idea of healthy relationships and what it means to be human.
Jonathan Franzen’s 2015 novel, Purity, tells the story of Purity “Pip” Taylor. In the opening, Purity is working in a coffee shop and meets a man she finds attractive. She begins to wonder about developing some kind of relationship with him. During the course of their conversation, Purity asks herself, “Dare I risk the intimacy of friendship? Or shall I retreat to the relative safety of casual sex?” The protagonist’s musing is a reflection of the twisted contemporary view of relationships, where a physical relationship is seen as less risky (and, because it is so perverted, less intimate) than friendship.
We are so unused to relating to others as fellow image-bearers of God that the intimacy of friendship feels threatening. We are caught between the desire to be known and loved and the fear of being known and loved. The result is that we have become terribly lonely.
This epidemic can be traced, in part, to a low view of others. We are conditioned to evaluate others on purely physical terms, viewing only “the outward appearance” (1 Sam. 16:7). This dehumanization objectifies people made in God’s image. An object is something to be consumed for personal benefit; the relationship between a person and an object is one of consumption. But the relationship between two people is a connection where there is mutual benefit.
This objectification is evident not just in how we view others but also in how we view ourselves. Professionals are taught to “market” themselves, as if they were a brand, a program or a car. We are losing sight of what it means to be human by reducing ourselves and others to objects. Thus, our desire for connection and intimacy goes unsatisfied. What can be done to cure such an epidemic? Jesus said that he came so that we “may have life and have it abundantly” (Jn. 10:10). How can we access this abundant life?
Our relationship with God — First, we must address the primary relationship for which we were created. When we are disconnected from our Creator, the one in whose image and likeness we were made, nothing can be done to cure our emptiness and loneliness. Though our sins separate us from God, he provided access to himself through Jesus Christ. When this relationship is repaired, then our humanity can begin to be restored (Col. 3:5-17).
Our relationship with others — The gospel of Christ trains us to see others through God’s eyes: “from now on… we regard no one according to the flesh… if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.” (2 Cor. 5:16-17) Christ helps us see ourselves and others as fellow image-bearers of God, leading to a humble view of ourselves and a high regard for others (Phil. 2:3-4). This proper perspective opens the door to sincerity, love and the intimacy of true friendship.
Our relationship with technology — Following Christ also helps us put technology in its proper place. ““All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything.” (1 Cor. 6:12) While technology serves a purpose, we must be wise to its dangers and refuse to become enslaved by it. God has given us the power to put down our phones and take up abundant life in Christ Jesus.
