We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return (I speak as to children) widen your hearts also.

2 Corinthians 6:11-13

Who are your biggest influences? When we were younger, our parents were our biggest influence (for better or worse). We developed our worldview around what we learned from them. As we got older, our circle of influence broadened considerably to include teachers, peers and all sorts of other people we admire.

When I moved away from home, my greatest influences were my favorite college professors, married artists Scott and Gianna. I spent a lot of time hanging around them absorbing what I could. They had my ear because I had opened my heart to them and, for the most part, they were a good influence on me. But not everyone we open our heart to is an influence for good.

This, in part, is what Paul was concerned about in his second epistle to the Corinthians. Paul’s opponents challenged his apostleship by questioning his motives in organizing a collection for Christians in Judea (8:20-21; cf. 2:17; 12:14-18), questioning his personal courage (10:10-11; 11:21) and even arguing that his suffering was evidence he was not commissioned by Jesus (6:4-10; 11:23-30; 12:7-10; 13:3-4). Paul masterfully refutes these arguments while urging the Corinthians not to entertain the slanderous attacks of his enemies. His suffering and apparent weakness were, in fact, evidence for the legitimacy of his apostleship and a means by which God revealed the power of the gospel.

To reject Paul’s apostleship, therefore, meant rejecting the gospel itself. He warns them against being influenced by those who made such accusations: “But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ. For if someone comes and proclaims another Jesus than the one we proclaimed, or if you receive a different spirit from the one you received, or if you accept a different gospel from the one you accepted, you put up with it readily enough.” (11:3-4) He calls such people “false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ,” going on to compare them to Satan himself, whom they serve. (11:13-15)

In the middle of the letter he makes a heartfelt appeal for the Corinthians to “widen [their] hearts” to him as he had left his heart “wide open” to them. (6:11-13) From Paul’s writing, we discover three criteria by which we can discern between good and bad influences. For whom should we “make room in [our] hearts”? (7:2) Who should we allow to influence us?

Those who genuinely love us — Throughout the letter, Paul reminded the Corinthians how much he loved them. Describing his last epistle to them, he says, “I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to cause you pain but to let you know the abundant love that I have for you.” (2:4) Even though the goal of the letter was to produce “joy”, Paul’s heart was in “anguish” as he wrote it. He was so sad to receive bad news from Chloe’s people (1 Cor. 1:11) about all the division and sin within the church. Therefore, his letter was drenched “with many tears” but his motive all along was pure and unselfish love, even if it was a tough love. Paul’s “abundant love” for them is evident in his tenderheartedness toward them. There was no vindictive mean-spiritedness. All his stern words of rebuke were expressions of concern. Because love does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with truth (1 Cor. 13:6), their sins caused him great anguish. Those who really care for us are the ones we want influencing us.

Those who sacrifice for us — Paul demonstrated his love by sacrificing for the Corinthians. Even though he had the right to be paid when he preached in Corinth, he waved that right and preached for free—in contrast to his opponents who demanded payment (11:7-9; cf 1 Cor. 9:14-15). He was afflicted for their comfort (1:6), delayed his travel plans to spare them (1:23) and gave himself over to death in ministry all to grant them life (4:7-12). Paul sums up his sacrificial attitude toward them like this: “I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less?” (12:15) We should beware of any who seek to influence us when their ministry costs them nothing. How much more cautious ought we to be with those who seek to benefit from their ministry! Social media “influencers” hock products not because they really believe in them but because the manufacturers of those products pay them to do so. Likewise, there are those who think “that godliness is a means of gain” (1 Tim. 6:5).

Those who tell us the truth — Another determining factor of Paul’s love and sincerity toward them was his honesty in preaching. Again, in contrast to his opponents, Paul says: “But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God.” (4:2) The false apostles were willing to bend the truth to gain a wider audience but Paul refused to water down the message because he knew the gospel’s power depends on its purity. Some people will tell you what you want to hear. Beware those who never have a cross word with you. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” (Prov. 27:6)

In these ways and more, Paul epitomizes the kind of person we want influencing us. Don’t give an ear to those who don’t love you, who don’t sacrifice for you and who are unwilling to tell you hard truths. Look for people like Paul. Even more, be like Paul in these ways so that you can influence others for good! (1 Cor. 11:1)

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.

Psalm 127:3

The U.S. surgeon general, Dr. Vivek Murthy, issued an advisory last week: parenting can be harmful to your mental health (https://www.wsj.com/tech/personal-tech/surgeon-general-warning-parenting-mental-health-53f75c63). Murthy cites several surveys in which parents in particular report overwhelming stress and loneliness. It may bring a certain amount of relief to parents to have their challenges acknowledged by the state. Americans are trying to raise their children in an increasingly politically divided and violent nation all while battling rising costs due to inflation, longer working hours and the threats of social media.

Murthy isn’t suggesting people stop having kids. “There are so many joys and benefits that can come with parenting,” he says. “They can coexist with the stress parents feel.” His prescription to the problem is a predictable mix of institutional actions like child tax credits and workplace training to better screen for anxiety and individual actions like exercising mindfulness and self-care. You may agree or disagree with Murthy’s solution but as a father of two young children he shows some compassion and is trying to help.

But that’s the surgeon general, America’s “first chief wellness officer.” What does Jesus the Great Physician prescribe to stressed out parents? How can the gospel bring peace to Christian moms and dads?

Pray your anxieties — Jesus does not want Christian parents (or any of his people) to be crippled by anxiety. Rather than being anxious about parenthood, we ought to pray. When we acknowledge our stress to God in prayer and remind ourselves of his ability to help, “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil. 4:6-7) There is always some correlation between our level of anxiety and our prayer life. “O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer!”

Trust your Lord —“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Mt. 6:34) Jesus tells us not to be anxious about our life (or the life of our children) but rather to trust God by seeking first his kingdom and his righteousness. Parents do this by giving their fears to him in prayer and parenting according to his will, trusting that he will provide what is needed for the day’s troubles (Mt. 6:25-33). God’s will is for parents to train their children according to the “discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). A failure to strike that delicate balance by emphasizing one over the other will only cause further stress and “trouble.”

Simplify your schedule — Remember, Jesus said “seek first his kingdom,” signifying that God’s kingdom should be the number one priority of Christian parents. We add undue stress to our lives by packing our schedule so tight that the spiritual health of our family is neglected. There should be nothing more important to parents than their children knowing and loving God. God’s will is for families to serve him together (Josh 24:15). Rather than prioritizing our schedule we ought to schedule our priorities. Therefore, parents need to learn to say “no” to secondary, temporal things in order to make room for the primary, eternal things (2 Cor. 4:16-18).

Cut your budget — Yes, everything is getting more expensive and American incomes are not rising to keep up with inflation but Christian parents mustn’t fall prey to despair and playing the blame-game. We are called to exercise self-control and moderation (Gal. 5:23; 2 Tim. 1:7). A weak economy is a good opportunity for Christians to tighten their belts and practice frugality by only purchasing what is needful. Much debt comes from wasteful spending and can become a form of slavery (Prov. 22:7-9). By showing financial discipline, we reduce the stresses caused by debt: unpaid bills, mounting interest payments, complexity and embarrassment (Prov. 30:7-9).

Count your blessings — Living a more simplified life will free up finances and more time to do what matters most. We can learn to be content in every circumstance by finding our primary source of strength in Christ, not the things of this world (Phil. 4:10-13; 1 Jn. 2:15-17). Contentment also comes from counting our blessings and giving thanks to God (Col. 3:15-17). We maintain a humble and grateful heart by recognizing that, in Christ, we always have reason to celebrate (Phil. 4:4). Our heart of gratitude will impact our children… but so will our bitter complaining. Which example will draw them nearer to Christ?

The surgeon general says that parenting can be hazardous to our mental health. We freely admit a certain amount of stress comes from parenting. Who among us has not given their parents a headache or two? But when we follow God’s will for the family, parenthood can be a fulfilling, joyful and rewarding experience (Psa. 127:3). Parents are stewards of their children meant to train them up to follow the Lord and send them out to do his will (Prov. 22:6). Therefore, parents have an eternal influence on their children’s delicate hearts (Col. 3:21). But with a Father like God, we have the perfect example (Psa. 103:13; Lk. 15:11-32).

The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice;
he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.

Proverbs 23:24

“For the life of the flesh is in the blood, and I have given it to you on the altar to make atonement for your souls; for it is the blood by reason of the life that makes atonement.”

Leviticus 17:11

Leviticus gets a bad rap for being tedious. To many people, it’s only value is the contrast it makes with the gospel. We read it only to say with relief, “Whew! Glad we don’t have to do all those sacrifices anymore!” While that contrast is helpful, there’s much more to the book than that. There are pointed foreshadowings to Christ throughout Leviticus.

The first seven chapters are about the many sacrificial offerings the priests were to make. Some sacrifices were ways of expressing sorrow for the wrong things that we do (the burnt offering, sin offering and guilt offering). Others were ways of expressing gratitude to God for the wonderful things that he does (the grain offering and peace offering).

If you didn’t grow up hunting or working in a slaughter house, the instructions for animal sacrifices sound pretty gnarly. It wasn’t just killing the animal. The priests had to cut it up and take certain parts out. Blood was collected and sprinkled on the altar. Parts were burned on the altar while other parts could be cooked and eaten. Levites must have had to develop strong stomachs to deal with all the grisly details of their job.

An the sacrifices were endless. In addition to the morning and evening sacrifices, there were special sacrifices and annual feast days which ramped up the number of offerings. The annual day of atonement, which lies at the literary center of the book (chs. 16-17), was a day dedicated to the purification of the entire nation of Israel. Only on that day the high priest was permitted to enter the most holy place of the temple, the inner sanctum of God’s presence where the ark of the covenant resided. After making purification for himself, he made a sin offering for the nation and sprinkled the blood on the cover of the ark. In the second ritual, the high priest would symbolically burden the scapegoat with the sins of the nation and it would be led out into the wilderness, away from the camp.

So many sacrifices! So much blood! Over all those years the altar and the ark must have been stained a deep crimson. What gives? The answer is in Leviticus 17:11. Blood is a symbol of life. Human sin introduces death into God’s good world. Because he loved Israel, he made a provision to accept the animal’s life in place of the life of the sinner. The animal blood would “atone” or cover human sin making it possible for a holy God to dwell among a sinful people. But the brutality, costliness and frequency of the sacrifices were all meant to teach Israel both bad and good news:

1. Sin has terrible consequences — Imagine the financial strain of selecting the very best of your flock to sacrifice. Back then, folks counted their wealth in livestock. If we had to pay $1,000 per week for our sins don’t you think it would motivate us to gossip and lie less? Imagine the emotional strain of watching an animal bleed out in front of you and connect those dying gasps for air to your sinful behavior. Don’t you think we would develop more self-control and patience?
2. Sin is a constant problem in our lives — Imagine having to perform these rituals every day, every week and every year. Our calendars would be red with blood, a reminder of our never-ending battle against sin. It would leave us hoping that someday, there might be an end to it all, that God might provide an ultimate sacrifice to fully cover us (Psa. 51:10). Our moral failures would drive us to our knees in prayer, crying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” (Lk. 18:13)
3. God is holy and cannot endure sin — The sacrifices would also drive home the point that our God is pure, full stop. He is light. There is zero darkness in him. He cannot coexist with it. He cannot excuse it. He cannot tolerate it. He holds no truck with it. He is altogether righteous and utterly “holy”—unique and set apart from us and all creation.
4. Yet God provides a way to dwell with his people — These ritual instructions made it possible for a perfectly holy God to dwell among a sinful people. Doesn’t that prove how much the Lord loves his people? Doesn’t it show how desperately he wants to be with them?

Of course, as the book of Hebrews makes abundantly clear, the sacrificial system all points to the finality of Christ’s sacrifice and the foreverness of his priesthood. But wouldn’t we appreciate our Lord’s achievement much more if we had a better grasp of Leviticus? We can read about Jesus’ death in the New Testament but wouldn’t we see it more clearly, smell it even, feel it’s horror—and the joy of it’s triumph—if we better understood how it was under the Old Covenant?

You shall not pervert the justice due to your poor in his lawsuit. Keep far from a false charge, and do not kill the innocent and righteous, for I will not acquit the wicked. And you shall take no bribe, for a bribe blinds the clear-sighted and subverts the cause of those who are in the right.

Exodus 23:6-8

A businessman took his seat on the plane next to an attractive young woman. The two struck up what seemed to be an innocent conversation during the long flight. Soon, though, the flirting began. The young woman was flattered by the man’s lavish attention and was genuinely drawn to him. Then the conversation turned lewd—after a few drinks, of course—and the man offered her a surprising proposal. “Spend the night with me for one million dollars.” At first, she was shocked by his audacity, but after a moment’s consideration (when, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed his Rolex and figured he was good for the money) she agreed.

As the couple deboarded the man turned to the woman and said, “I need to make a small amendment to my proposal. I really don’t have that kind of money. Would you consider the same proposition for $100?” The woman scowled and said, “I’ve never been so disrespected in all my life! What kind of a woman do you take me for?” The man responded, “Oh, we’ve already established that. Now we’re just haggling over price.”

This is a fabricated tale but it raises an interesting point. Skeptics argue that everyone has their price. The only difference is the point at which we surrender our convictions. But is this true? Do we all have our breaking point when we would cave in and sell out?

Perhaps most people can be bought. But God calls his saints to have integrity. Defined negatively, having integrity means being uncorrupted, undivided, sinless. Defined positivity, having integrity means being whole, complete, having it all together. A person with integrity is the same person all the time. He is fully integrated. This is the essence of God’s character revealed in his personal name, “I Am Who I Am” (Ex. 3:14). That is, whatever God is, he is that all the time. His character is changeless and eternally consistent (2 Tim. 2:13). With him there is “no variation or shifting shadow due to change” (Jas. 1:17). He “is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Heb. 13:8). He doesn’t behave one way with one group of people and behave another way with another group (like hypocrites, Gal. 2:11-13; Mt. 23). He shows no partiality (Acts 10:34; Rom. 2:11; Gal. 2:6).

David was a man of integrity (1 Kgs. 9:4). He even asked God to vindicate him on the basis of his integrity (Psa. 26:1,11) and called upon God to “search” and “try” his heart to “see if there [was] any hurtful way in” him (Psa. 139:23-24). Job was also a man of integrity. Even when the devil tried to tempt him with evil, his wife railed against him and his friends accused him of living in some secret sin, Job held fast to his integrity (Job 2:3, 9; 4:6; 8:20; 27:5; 31:6, etc.). The apostle Paul spent much of his second letter to the Corinthian church defending his integrity because it had been called into question (see 2 Cor. 1:12-24). 

Integrity has a direct correlation to trust. It impacts every relationship in life. Friends cease to be friends when they learn that we lied to them, deceived them or acted hypocritically. A loss of integrity forfeits trust. The American public’s trust in their media, in their politicians, and in their beloved Hollywood idols has dissolved because of glaring moral and ethical failings. Every relationship from friendship to government is shaped by the question, “Can I trust them?” 

God shaped the nation of Israel with laws that ensured integrity at the highest levels of society. No one was above the law. In places like Exodus 23, he warned them against perverting justice by spreading lies, being a false witness or showing partiality (1-3, 6). They must be careful to show justice and love even to those who hate them (4-5). They were forbidden to take advantage of the poor in a lawsuit (6) as well as showing partiality to the poor in a lawsuit (3). The structure of Israel's civil society was meant to form the people according to God’s character. That’s why the warnings are grounded in God’s judgment: “for I will not acquit the wicked” (7).

These principles of justice and integrity we see in the Law of Moses are consistent with God’s expectations of the church today. We also must “show no partiality” (Jas. 2:1) in any of our relationships (Eph. 6:9; Col. 3:24; 1 Tim. 5:21). We will be pressured, weather with bribes or with threats, to sacrifice our convictions to benefit ourselves. That temptation will be strong so arm yourself against it. It is especially present at work: you may be asked to take bribes in exchange for favors, to lie to cover up an error, give preferential treatment to your friends, receive gifts without disclosing them to HR, show conflicts of interests with vendors and many other under-the-table dealings. These practices can lead to legal issues, damaged reputations, ruined careers and distrust trust in the workplace. But more than that, they are unworthy of our Savior.

“Better is a poor man who walks in his integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.”

Proverbs 28:6

Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body

James 3:1-2

James has a lot to say about the Christian’s speech (1 :19, 26). In chapter 3 of his letter he attacks the problem at length by beginning with teachers. Proverbs 10:19 says, “when words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” This puts teachers in a pickle. To teach they must use “many words” and yet still must show prudence and restraint. Teachers are “judged with greater strictness” because of the influence their words have on others. Careless words can easily set people down the wrong path. James’ warning echoes the words of Jesus in other places (Mt. 12:33-37; 15:14; Lk. 12:48; Mk. 12:40).

“We all stumble in many ways.” In contrast to the diversity of ways we stumble, we all fail in our speech. James says that if we learn to tame our tongues we will also be able “to bridle [our] whole body,” i.e. our lives.

James goes on to write about the impact of our words (Jas. 3:3-6). He contrasts the disproportionate impact between the size of two instruments—bit and rudder—and the objects they control—horse and ship. Just as the bit determines the direction of a big horse and a rudder can steer a huge ship, the tongue can determine the destiny of a whole person. If we could control our speech we could direct our lives in their proper, divinely charted course; we would, in fact, be “perfect” (2). But when our tongue is unrestrained, our whole lives are out of control.

The tongue is little but lethal. James likens its destructive potential to a small spark that starts a forest fire (Prov. 16:27). The tongue is like a little world all of its own containing all kinds of evil (6), because through speech much evil finds expression. Our entire “course of life,” from the cradle to the grave, can be scorched by tongues set on fire by the flames of hell itself. Therefore, we need to appreciate the impact words can have. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Prov. 18:21)

Next, James explains the difficulty of control (Jas. 3:7-8). He alludes to creation in the four-fold division of the animal kingdom (beast, bird, reptile, sea creature, Gen. 1:26). All these animals have been “tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue.” This statement does not give us license to say what we want because we just can’t help it. Rather, it’s an admission of our weakness and a warning to keep our tongues on a tight leash. We dare not give it free reign. “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” (Prov. 29:11)

Notice James does not say “the tongue cannot be tamed” but “no human being can tame the tongue.” Therefore, we look beyond ourselves to God for help. With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible. We must learn to pray with the psalmist, “Set a guard over my mouth, keep watch over the doors of my lips.” (Psa. 141:3)

Finally, James writes of the nature of speech (Jas. 3:9-12) and how it reveals the heart. James warned earlier against being “double-minded” which leads to an unstable life (1:7-8). Here he warns of being double-tongued. “With [our tongue] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in the likeness of God.” Contradictory speech from a forked tongue reveals a corrupt heart. Echoing Jesus (Mt. 12:33-37), James appeals to nature to show how “these things ought not to be so.” Fig trees don’t bear olives, grapevines don’t produce figs and you can’t get salt water from a fresh water spring. Likewise, if our hearts are cleansed in Christ (Psa. 51:10), how can we spew forth such filth? “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” There must be a consistency in our speech (Mt. 5:33-37). Christians ought to be “blessing-only” people rather than “blessing and cursing” people.

These warnings about speech lead us back to the cross for chastening and cleansing (Jas. 4:7-10). Let us examine our communication in light of what Jesus did for us. The gospel can act as a filter, training us to use our lips to bless and heal instead of curse and wound. “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Eph. 5:29) “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Col. 4:6)

Angry words! O let them never

From the tongue unbridled slip.

May the heart’s best impulse ever

Check them ‘ere they soil the lip.