Articles
“Why Me?”
As he passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”
John 9:1-3
Several years ago I drove to Chicago to visit my longtime friend and college roommate in the hospital. Eric had always had the physique of a bodybuilder and was one of the strongest guys I’ve ever exercised with. But something had gone terribly wrong. He began losing energy and dropping weight fast. His wife called to tell me things had gotten so bad he had been rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. He had some rare disease and infection in his gut. I don’t remember what it was called but I do remember walking into his hospital room and seeing him. I barely recognized him. His cheeks were sunken, his eyes bulged, his skin was grey and arms were as thin as rails. He may have weighed 100 pounds. We spoke just before he was rushed into the operating room. He asked, “Why is this happening to me?” His career was just getting started, his boy had just been born. Why was God doing this to him? He wondered why everyone else got to live such trouble-free lives while he had to endure this pain and the prospect of an early death. I said I didn’t know but we prayed and the nurse wheeled him out.
By the grace of God, Eric pulled through that day. And after many more surgeries over the next few years, and through a very dark period of related depression, he is doing much better today.
Pain and grief often force these searching questions out of us. In our lamentation we cry out “Why me? Why must we suffer?”
If the man who was born blind asked, “Why me?” the answer would have been “that the works of God might be displayed in him.” (Jn. 9:3) If Mary and Martha, after losing their brother Lazarus to illness, would have asked, “Why us?” the answer would have been “so that you may believe.” (Jn. 11:15) If the paralytic man would have asked, “Why me?” the answer would have been “that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” (Mk. 2:10) If Paul, pondering his thorn his flesh, would have asked, “Why me?” the answer would have been “so that the power of Christ may rest upon [you].” (2 Cor. 12:9)
As Doy Moyer pointed out, ““Why me?” need not be a negative question, but it does need to be self-reflective. It can lead to an answer demonstrating selfishness and bitterness, or it can lead to a God-glorifying response that demonstrates reliance on God.”
We all need to seriously evaluate how we view and respond to life’s trials. It is easy to affirm the value of affliction when life is delightful. We can quote James 1:2 with a smile on our face and sing “Great Is Thy Faithfulness” with a twinkle in our eye. But can we trust that passage and sing that song when trials come?
If we believe the Lord knows what he is doing, we will rely on his strength to see us through the trial. If we believe it is God’s will that we be “conformed to the image of his Son” who “learned obedience through what he suffered” (Heb. 5:8), we won’t ask “Why me?” so much as “Why not me?” Those moments when God feels most distant may very well be the times he is forming Christ within us.
Only in our weakness can we learn the sufficiency of God’s grace and the perfection of his power. Only in our affliction can we learn to “rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.” (2 Cor. 1:9)
Paul and Silas sang hymns in the darkness of their prison cell in Philippi (Acts 16:25). May God shine the light of his word into the darkness of our trials. May we learn to sing: “Let the treasures of the trial / Form within me as I go / And at the end of this long passage / Let me leave them at your throne.”
